Guilt, What is is good for...Absolutely nothing...

Guilt

Why do we feel guilt?

Is it something positive, that pushes us to take action?

Can we ignore it?

Or do we use it as a mechanism to forgive ourselves for something that we have done?

If we feel guilt, is that our punishment for our actions, after a certain amount of time we can let go of the guilt, safe in the knowledge that we have atoned for our behaviors.

If it is the last example, then are we not being incredibly selfish? We are looking at the fault that we have caused from an entirely egocentric point of view, we are in effect forgiving ourselves.

Perhaps therefore a better, more positive and less selfish way to handle the mistakes we have made in our life is to look at what we have done, find out what caused our behavior, learn from it, make amends and move on, safe in the knowledge that we have gained something positive from it.

If we have wronged someone and we sincerely make amends and the damage is not complete then we may end up in a stronger relationship, because we are able to positively handle things.

So.

S          Stop

T          Think

A          Act Positively

M         Make Amends

P          Proceed

STAMP On guilt

Don’t think that guilt will set you free.

Only compassion and learning will.

The Bucket List Girl

The Bucket List Girl

I have just been reading about an incredible young girl, who is terminally ill. I can’t imagine what it would be like to receive such news from a Dr, but if I ever where to be in that position I truly hope that I will be able to respond in the manner that this little lady has. 

Her response to such news, to create a list of things that she wants to do before she dies. 

We all sort of create those lists, but a lot of the time we forget about them, or we put them on the back burner, until a different or “better” time to do them, becuase we know, or we think we know, that we have enough time left to do them at a later stage. 

But is this really the best strategy?

Our lives should be exactly like this little ladies life right now, we should be looking at what truly makes us happy and refining our lives so that we are constantly working on our bucket list of positive goals. 

Use this girl as your inspiration, she is incredibly brave put at least she has purpose in her life. She has something from which to derive meaning and there is no fear of change for her, she wants to grasp the opportunities that she has and really make them count. 

The is no reason why we should not do the same and do it now. 

Make your bucket list and go out, move towards your dreams 

and 

Just do it...

Much love 

It's all you will ever have...

It’s all you will ever have

It stopped me in my tracks and perhaps had the biggest impact of anything that has ever happened in my life.

I have done some amazing things, experienced some pretty incredible events and been to many different places, I consider myself to be very fortunate. But this still has had the biggest impact.

It isn’t an object, it isn’t a place, it isn’t a thing, it is a saying.

I am growing weary of our obsession with inspirational quotes, thinking that the quote will actually change our lives. Yes indeed they can make us think about something and that could lead to change, but the quote, can it really change us? No, it is us that changes us, the quote is just a trigger.

Perhaps this one is my trigger for change and happiness, perhaps it will help you too.

I find this one impossible to escape from. But, in a good way. It makes you think and it will change the way you look at things.

So if you are happy, don’t want to change, or see things differently, please stop reading.

Ok, enough hype. Perhaps you will read it and nothing will change, well at least not immediately, but this will keep creeping up on you.

It isn’t, “you only live once”, but that is close,

It isn’t “whatever happens now, will not matter in 5 years..”

What is it?

This moment, is all you will ever have.

I like to add one extra thing..

So enjoy it.

We can only ever live in the moment we are in, we can’t live in the past, we can’t live in the future, we can only be in this very moment, so be in it.

Be in this moment, feel the feelings you have now, let them come, let them go.

This moment is all you ever have.

Enjoy it.

ConsultSpring Personal development day

How much time do you spend on your life?

Making sure you are moving in the direction you want.

Planning for your future

Overcoming barriers that may hold you back

Part of the challenge in the modern world is that there often really isn’t time to dedicate to ourselves to make sure that we are achieving all we really want.

More often than not we look back on our lives and wonder where we lost the drive we once had to achieve our goals. We may even feel stuck and want to change our lives, get back on track towards what we always have desired, to overcome the barriers that have been put in place, to put ourselves back on the cause side of life, rather than the effect side where our lives feel out of our control.

Spring has developed a personal breakthrough day which allows you to seize back control of your life, to overcoming the issues that have held you back till now, to let go of negative behaviours or emotions and to replace them with drive, determination, vision and effective goals.

How much time do you spend on developing your life the way you want it?

Chance are it is not enough.

Over 6 hours you will let go through significant personal change and leave feeling totally empowered.

Change does happen quickly so you should ask yourself, can you not not take control of your life and achieve all of your dreams.

Spring offers a variety of methodologies for you to take control of your life;

Personal breakthrough days – Make the chages you desire in one incredibly powerful day

Individual sessions – Make changes every week

Once you have comlpeted either of the above sessions Spring recommends that you at attend the 10 week group program where you learn the core elements of how to make a success of yourself and implement them moving forward.

How do they work?

The process is fairly simple, for the breakthrough day and the breakthrough sessions the format is the same:

Discover the presenting problem, the problem that is stopping you from achieving what you want, which, when removed will aloow you to take the giant leaps forward that you want to.

Take a detailed personal history, this allows us to identify any areas of conflict that may also be blocking your potential.

Determine therapy program

Utilise NLP and Time Line Therapy techniques to let go of negative emotions that can stop you and actually cause ill health

Utilise NLP and Time Line therapy techniques to let go of limiting decisions that again block your development and progression. A limiting decision is taken at an unconscious level and usually is in response to a scenario that happened in our lives and actually has a significant effect on our lives as the decision is often very negative.

Resolve a conflicts through NLP techniques. More often than not there may be a conflict inside us about what to do. By utilising some core NLP techniques we can resolve the conflict.

Check on the presenting problem and see that it has gone.

Goal brainstorming

Goal setting and putting the goal into your future

Mentoring program.

At the end of the day, only you can make the changes that you want in your life. Spring works with clients to get them to take responsibility for their lives and to empower them to make the positive changes that they have been seeking in their lives.

This program is incredibly successful. So if you want to make those changes in your life, make them today and start living the life that you have always wanted for yourself.

Why try NLP?

NLP was conceived of by Richard Bandler and John Grindler in the early 70s and has since become one of the fastest growing therapeutic techniques for making fast and lasting change in clients lives. The techniques are effective because they are mostly concerned with finding the solution to a problem and doing this quickly! Essentially it replaces one set of negative behaviours, with a more positive set. 

By getting to the issue quickly and through careful interaction with the unconscious mind, changes in thinking are quick to happen.

When we do not take the time to process thoughts or actions they tend to get repressed into the unconscious mind, these are then presented, often seemingly randomly, by the unconscious mind, as it is still trying to process them. Actually what is happening is that there is a mental trigger, or anchor, which you are firing at the time of the re-emergence of the thought. This could be a negative action or perhaps even a phobia. By looking at the first time that this happened and processing it properly and learning what needs to be learnt, the phobia or negative action quickly disappears.

NLP is also a phenomenally powerful tool when repairing inner conflict. A lot of the time when we are frustrated it is because of an inner conflict that is holding us back, or perhaps a value that we have picked up that is limiting our behaviour. By addressing this in the unconscious mind, it is possible to quickly resolve these conflicts and move forward positively.

The changes that can happen in a short period of time are amazing, you can literally see people light up when they come to their realisations and learnings.

There are a huge number of ways that NLP coaching can help you. To find out more, please contact James on james@consultspring.com.

James

Think before you limit your life!

I have recently been reading a number of books that focus on adding some definition to our lives. The books formulate categories that we can apply to ourselves, they seek to define our actions by the category that we are in and help readers learn about themselves by the category that they fit into.

Whilst it is important for us to make sure that we continually deveote time to our personal development, we need to be cautious of the methodology that we choose to do this through.

Many of these books are very black and white about how these categories influence us, but we are always more than just a category.

The most important thing to remember is that we are individuals and that no category can really explain our behaviours alone.

Throughout our lives there are a number of things that affect our behaviour, for example our values, our situation at that time, our upbringing, our influencers our mood and our motives, these will never be the same for any two individuals at any given time.

So when you read these sorts of books, remember that they are only a guide, they do not classify you as a person, you are more than this. You will act differently depending on certain variables.

The most important thing is to know your true values, to understand what you really are about and to act on these and in a way that is true to yourself.

So as you look to continue your development, take the parts that you like, modify them to what you believe and most importantly, act in accordance with who you are and be true to yourself. 

Blaming Others

How often do you look to blame others for something that has gone wrong in your life?

Perhaps it was someone elses fault that you dropped your bag, that you had an argument, that you forgot your keys. Whatever it is, by blaming others you put yourself in a weak position. You ignore the part you play and you give other people control of your life. By blaming others you put them in a position where their emotions or actions are more important than yours, because you let them influence you.

Why would you do this?

In NLP this is often referred to as being on the effect side of life, which is where things happen to us and they are out of our control. But why would you choose to live your life like this? Why would you want to not have control over your emotions, over your actions and over your responses?

It is important to remember that we always have choices, we can always act differently, we can always do something in another manner or way, we can always take responsibility for the way we assess a situation and adjust our behaviour to put us more in control.

By taking charge of our life in this manner we are putting ourself in the cause side of life and by being on this side we recognise that by being flexible in our behaviour we can achieve more of what we want. We don’t overreact, we assess a situation fully, accept other peoples behaviour as being an accumulation of events that are happening in their lives and we become more flexible.

At the end of the day the people that are the most adaptive or flexible will always win out. They will recognise that they can achieve more by reading a situation better, not flying off the handle, not blaming others. They can learn from each situation they find themselves in and they can adapt their behaviour accordingly.

So next time you find yourself in a position where you start to blame others, think how you could do that response differently. Think about WHY the other person could be being annoying, have compassion, put yourself in control of your emotions and take responsibility for the situation. By doing this, you will achieve more and achieve higher levels of happiness.